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Welcome to My Mommy Thoughts. I originally created this blog to document our lives hosting foreign exchange students in our home but I quickly discovered a passion for writing and blogging. This blog has become a little bit of everything.

So sit back, relax with a cup of coffee and enjoy!!

~Randi

Me and My Hubby

Me and My Hubby

My Loves

My Loves

The Princess - Maggie

The Princess - Maggie

Me & my Meg

Me & my Meg

Monday, December 20, 2010

Dear Santa ... I'm trying!!!

I SO totally stole my blog title from another blog but it completely describes how I am feeling. I pre-apologize for this blog post. This one is completely coming from my heart and is how I am feeling today.

It seems like I keep trying, I'm trying the hardest I possibly can and I keep getting knocked backwards 10 steps. The phrase - "Can't win for loosing" keeps coming to mind. I feel overwhelmed without being overwhelmed. I feel stressed without stress. Does that even make sense? Can that even be so? I just can't catch up!!

1. Christmas Shopping -- I am NO WHERE near finished! I've bought a few stocking stuffers here and there but other than my Black Friday all nighter - I've not bought anything. Take that back -- I ordered the photo book for my Nanny and I ordered a small something for my dad and I ordered Noah's toddler bedding - other than that - nothing!! Keith and I planned on finishing our shopping Saturday night but that didn't get to happen because he did not receive his paycheck like we planned. He has since received it (ie: today) but it messed up Saturday night - not like I can go back to Saturday night now. Noah and I were supposed to go to Atlanta with mom, Meghan and Rinda Wednesday afternoon and come back Thursday - can't happen now because someone has to finish shopping. Bunko tonight - Santa tomorrow night (cause we tried last time and someone threw up in the line) then shopping Wednesday night. See - can't win!!! No time!!

2. Money -- why does money always have to put a damper on everything. I mean - seriously!! Keith and I are trying hard with our money this month to help prepare for Ahmed coming to live with us in January. We are not "behind" in our payments but we are trying to get ahead to be better prepared for having a teenage son! Gosh - that's overwhelming in itself!! So, Keith got his paycheck, it went in, but I don't have much money left for all of the gifts that I have to buy. I came up with the perfect gifts for Keith's family but can't think of a thing for my family. Crud!! Shouldn't my family be easier to buy for because they are my family?? Anyway -- Keith decided that we are not buying any presents next year. So family members - use this as your forewarn! No presents next year!! Kids only!! Meghan -- I do still consider you one of the "kids" even though you will be 19 by then! When realizing how much money we have left for Christmas -- I jokingly said that we may not be buying my family Christmas this year! Keith was not as amused. But I will say --- with what little Christmas money I have left - I will be buying for the kids first before I buy for the adults.

3. Christmas Cards -- you would think that I would learn to put "Merry Christmas AND Happy New Year" on my cards so that I could send them out later. Next year, I think I will put "We hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I have had them in my possession for 2 weeks now but didn't have the extra money for stamps. I WILL be using some of my Christmas money for stamps today!!!

4. The Perfect Christmas -- all of Keith's family is coming to our house for Christmas lunch and presents. I am SO stressed about it. I feel like everything has to be perfect and I know that it will not be. I don't have all of the fancy Christmas china -- heck, I don't even have all of my fine china. We don't have room at our table for all of us to sit. Its gonna be cramped. My momma keeps telling me that it will be ok but I am scared to death. WHY did I tackle this project. I have been so excited about it all year up until now. I am still excited about hosting Christmas but I want it to be perfect. I want it to live up to every ones expectations. And I don't mean that bad when I say that .... it's not that the family has expectations or that I we don't live up to their expectations (well, that could be a different post all in itself) ... but I'm just stressy about it!

I told Keith last night I feel like I have lost my Christmas spirit. And that is bad. I feel guilty for it -- I really do. SO - I'm going to let loose and totally let all of this fall behind me. The meaning of Christmas is not about presents, and Christmas cards, and having the perfect Christmas and money. It is not. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. If it wasn't for his birth then I wouldn't be here. I want my son to grow up knowing the TRUE meaning behind Christmas. I don't want him to think Christmas is about Santa and presents and STRESS!

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I am sure that it does not make sense but it sure does make me feel better!!!

~Randi

Oh - and I won't be participating in tomorrow's Home Tour Tuesday. The home tour is on wrapping presents -- show how you wrap presents. Let's see -- I only have 3 under the tree and they are as far from fancy wrapped that they can be. No bows no ribbons. Gonna save me that embarrassment tomorrow!!

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